Chapman Network Administrator Thinks You're Disgusting

by the Unpaid Intern

Phil Martin, network administrator at Chapman, says that site you visited last night crossed the line. "I'm a network administrator at a college. I've seen a lot of porn. I thought I'd seen everything, but boy was I wrong."

When asked to explain details, Martin promptly vomited. After recovering, his eyes noticeably glazed over as he said "Look, there are some things kittens should never be used for. That website demonstrated three of them."

Although there are no official legal consequences for what you've done, neither Phil Martin or anyone here at The Daily Chapman will ever look at you the same way again.