by the Resident Womanizer It has been confirmed by a Daily Chapman investigatory squad that two love birds had sex in the Tunnel of Oppression multiple times over that last week. "What's the appeal in going into a tunnel where you get oppressed?" asked Sophomore Jane Stark. "Unless of course, you're getting depressed playing games like, 'That's Not My Belly Button, That's Not My Finger'."
The dirty deeds done presumably free were committed on a bed in a part of the exhibit called "How much does your room cost?" which labels typical items in a dorm room and their cost. Chapman administration began to be suspicious when they saw a price tag on the bed that simply read, "LAST NIGHT - PRICELESS."
Freshman Jordan Baker admitted to "putting his oppressor" in her Tunnel of Oppression in the Tunnel of Oppression last night. "I was about to have sex with this hot chick when my roommate totally walked in and I knew I had to find another place to bang her. What's better than a place that's completely enclosed and has mood lighting?" Baker continued saying that he felt sexually oppressed by the university due to his inability to live out his sexual desires. His trip to the Tunnel of Oppression reportedly alleviated his stunted sexuality and revitalized his faith in the global love spread by this fine university.
Amen.
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