by John
In his most recent edition of his weekly announcements, Jerry Price announced that there will be no announcements next week" because "the Martin Luther King holiday." "He's gotta be black," said junior Johnny Stewart. "No man would use 'Martin Luther King Day' as an excuse unless he was A- black, B- lazy or C- both."
Recent sightings of Jerry Price blasting the Wu Tang Clan in the KFC drive thru and a discovery of grape drink in the trash of offices of the Dean of Students point towards Price's racial curiosity. "After receiving feedback from students about wanting later dinner hours," said Price. "Restaurant Services is moving the dinner serving hours in Sandhu cafeteria to 5:30 to 7:30 PM Monday through Friday."
Price was also reported to suggest changing the Sunday dining service to include a free surviving of Rosco's Chicken and Waffles in observance of "the holy day."
"What's greater than having breakfast and lunch at the same time?" said student Kwame Nkrafta. "It's just awesome. Who wouldn't want that? I hope Price don't fail me this time."
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