by Richard S. Huge
Wednesday, Chapman Administrators announced the inclusion of a new ropes course in between Sandhu Residences and the cafeteria facilities. "Students have bitching about not being able to directly from the dorm building to the cafeteria," said Assistant to the Vice President Adam Malone. "So we've decided to put in a ropes course between the Sandhu Residences and the cafeteria. If you little fuckers want to take the short way to the caf, then you can tight rope there."
The decision has been greeted with much excitement. "I'm stoked," said student Anna Nuñez. "I've always wanted to zip-line to dinner."
Others are less excited. "How the fuck do you expect me to get my fat ass across a rope? Seriously." said that kid Dave that no one likes.
Other than Dave, there's really been little complaint and we all hate that asshole anyway. So, yeah. This is a good thing. This is the word of the Lord.
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