by Cagilous Nick
Today, Mitchell Watson woke up promptly around noon. "I had breakfast at Chipotle," said Watson. "That's when you know it was a good day."
He then proceeded to masturbate several times and played Bioshock 2 for three hours. Microwave lasagna dinner and then he finished off the day with a bottle of gin, some tonic water and a blow-job from his special lady friend.
"All in all, it was a pretty good day," said Watson. "I really have nothing to complain about. Living off campus is great. I haven't seen anyone who deserves to be dick slapped across the face all day. It's great."
In other news, I ate a big red candle. That'll be all for the Daily Chapman. Good night.
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