by Richard Dyck
Due to a recent string of sexual encounters between local Chapman commuter students and area milkmen, Chapman has decided to launch a new Calcium Anthropology program in order to train women how to respond to these incredibly attractive and debonair gentlemen.
Calcium Anthropology, also known as the study of milkmen, is a rare program among college campuses and one that Doti believes will give Chapman the upper hand. "Schmid College has been working very hard the last few years to gain recognition," says Doti. "I believe that our new Calcium Anthropology program will put us on the map and really make our Schmid College of Science a prominent place for those interested in the field."
Although official major requirements have not yet been reached, Dr. Stroviknik mentioned in a personal interview that "the coursework will include very basic classes, like human anatomy, history of milk, karma sutra for milkmen, etc. etc."
More on this story as it develops.
This is the 300th Daily Chapman article ever published (bitches).
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