SkyMall to Launch New Dating Magazine for Chapman

by Raggedy Anne

On a recent visit to Orange County, executives from The Greenspun Corporation stopped by Chapman University looking for new opportunities and new markets for future publications. Greenspun, which has spent the last 20 years in a joint venture with Spire Capital publishing a publication called "SkyMall", is looking forward to starting an all new "Chapman Dating" magazine.

"We noticed a lot of similarities between most of the individuals we saw at Chapman University and the items we sell in our SkyMall magazine," said SkyMall C.E.O. Jeff Levitt. "We ultimately believe it would be an easy and cost-effective idea because we'd be able to use formatting and concepts that we already use to sell less-than-appetizing products in our SkyMall magazine. It should be really easy and fun for everyone involved."

Although mildly offended by the idea, Dean of Students Jerry Price thinks that "it will really help Chapman students live happier, sexier lives. I ultimately believe that students should be having more unprotected sex and producing more future Panthers."

Chapman Dating is expected to be published on a semesterly basis and will be available in the seat pocket in front of you.